box office

[TrevorConway]

beyond glass [Any adjective to describe the glass, make it easier to imagine?]
businessmen’s great geometry [Gorgeous line. It doesn't matter that I don't understand the intended meaning]
i can eat  polished shoes  down [remove extra spaces]
the sidewalk  dark ["dark sidewalk clot of blankets", all one line]
clot of blankets
could be a body
is a body
could be alive
could be [The last 3 lines lack the freshness of other parts, and it feels kind of like you've given up on the poem instead of exploring it further]

Hi Miley,

You drew me in with the opening, especially the "businessmen's great geometry". Lovely, original and eccentric turn of phrase. After that, I found the elements too random/not obviously linked. I got more info from your comment. I think you could be a bit more blunt about the theme here, using more grammar and less fragmentation to make it just a bit less obscure. If the eating of shoes refers to Charlie Chaplin, I'd suggest mentioning Chaplin directly.

Overall, the poem feels very underexplored, like you just had the image of the homeless people and wanted to present that image. Why not describe them more? What do they say? How do people react to them? Do they even go to movies or even wish to go inside? 

I hope this feedback helps.

All the best,

Trevor