box office

[Mark A Becker]

Hi Miley-

I think the 2nd line needs to be more descriptive: the word “businessmen’s” is too vague for me. Perhaps something as simple as “beyond gleaming glass”. ??

The repetition of ““could be” is quite effective.

I had no problem interpreting the juxtaposition of the scene: homelessness amid affluence.

You did a fine job with a few words, and I’m a BIG fan of these types of poems.

Still, that 2nd line needs a nudge.

Thanks for this one,
Mark