09-29-2022, 01:47 PM
Xlateralus- I enjoyed the piece and thought the edits provided so far do strengthen it. One suggestion is to consider whether the last line, "yet this is a symbol of my love," should be "yet these are a symbol of my love." It seems that we are talking about the flowers, not the bouquet as a whole, at that point (based on the lines above, "dropped in a vase, perfectly cut" and "she has little use for them once wilted"). And, if so, then using the plural would be more suitable.
"What I want in poetry is a kind of abstract photography of the nerves, but what I like in photography is the poetry of literal pictures of the neighborhood." -John Koethe