09-11-2022, 09:33 PM
(09-10-2022, 05:27 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote: Island SongHi Mark,
Watch out
how your shadow
dances
when a full moon
rises.
Calypso
trips reveals?
so many fools,
strips off all
disguises.
While "trip" fits the narrative nicely, it grates on this reader. I guess my suggestion anticipates the final line, but "trip" seems too literal, and only shows ineptness, not revelation. A very elemental poem; I can visualize it nicely.
Tim