Lamentations

[Semicircle]

Lamentations




An empire collapses in not the turning of a page,    before the page turns
my life for a vanishing trick played to the tune of my heart strings protruding,  How do heart strings correlate to a vanishing trick?
a missing part of the puzzle replaced by soot upon the ground.  Too many metaphors crammed into the first three lines. I suggest cutting some of them.
The world grieves the parting of someone dear
and so do I,
for as Jeremiah,
I am utterly destroyed.

“Let the mourners mourn til sundown.”
they sing
but the only ones who are there are the dead                 "remaining"
for there is no one left to mourn along with me
because God will not allow it.
“I am Ezekiel reborn.”
I chant
as I walk about the Earth,
naked like Isaiah,
for no clothing or thing to comfort me is left clinging to my body.

Let my place be there 
amongst those drowned out by the cries of the world.
Let me sink below and cover me in soil.
If there were words to describe this agony they would be written on my epitaph
but I cannot speak
and I cannot scream.
I am but dust and ashes
and this is how I shall remain,
my remains echoing a song of lament.     This stanza could be shortened down-- very small, like an epitaph. 

I would work on straightening/shortening the format. A long sentence juxtaposed by a brief statement afterward
is a bit jarring.

Also, description is good: too much is distracting--

"my life for a vanishing trick played to the tune of my heart strings protruding,"


Welcome to the pen.
SC