I don't see her(mod edit)

[brynmawr1]

Hello, Bryn. Precise and evocative imagery throughout. Creative details help draw the reader into the scene. I am impressed by this piece. That having been said, I'll proceed to pick it apart:

I don’t see her -- It's not bad to use your first line as the title, especially when you don't have anything else in mind. It doesn't hinder, but it doesn't help either. 
but she is here everywhere; -- I would choose either "here" or "everywhere." Unless she's a god, she's going to have to choose. 
            in the morning -- I don't mind the indentations. I don't see the point of them, but they don't detract from the reading either. 
                        cupboard doors agape; -- love how this image of cupboards with mouths leads into the abandoned food discussion
            in the sink a sodden, half-eaten creation of a nocturnal alchemist  -- Disgusting and intriguing -- all the things chemists would be called on to investigate. Alchemist is a great word choice for sonics and meaning, a perfect choice for a line break. Nocturnal is appropriate for raccoons and teenagers, so I approve.
with an appetite; -- not a fan of this coming after alchemist. It doesn't add much and weakens the previous line break. I would cut this since it's implied in the previous line.
            in the history tests and text 
books oozing from her bloated pack 
            that festers in the entry; -- introducing the death imagery is confusing at first (especially because the tone of the first part of the poem is lightly comedic), but it's ultimately appropriate given that the topic is presence vs. absence. Anyone who has school age children has that entryway problem, so the image is relatable. 
discarded clothes -- maybe put "flaked" on the end here
flaked like itchy reptilian skin  -- great sonics, and furthers the growth-of-a-child theme                                                                             
            leading away; -- leading where? This is an opportunity to add another house image like you did with the cupboards, entryway, stairs, and dining room table. I feel the same about this line as I do about "with an appetite" -- it's like an appendix (that is, expendable). 
in forgotten elementary lessons etched deep -- I don't think you need "deep." It gets in the way of the etched/ebony sonic pairing. 
into the ebony of the dining room table. 
The blue Subaru’s gas gauge at empty, -- Great sonics and details (again). It's the kind of example which highlights the irritation/joy of having kids. These are the things that you think you'll never miss, but you do after they've left. 
                        its rims excoriated against curbs, -- excoriated is a great word choice. I would end this line on curbs. 
lessons learned; -- a superfluous add-on, especially given that you have "lessons" just a few lines before. 
in the detritus of a deciduous forest -- yes
                        shed from limbs on her bedroom floor; -- maybe name a kind of tree before limbs, just to make it clear that it's not animal/person limbs. Those of us with wandering minds could become derailed by the ambiguity. Ha!  I was actually referring to human limbs clothes again but also all the crap that collects.  I will think about this issue.
in the quiet of the climbing moon searched by anxious ears -- comma after moon 
for the late crunch of tires or creak -- visceral 
            of a darkened stair; 
in her mother’s eyes -- Clarifies the familial relations. Lovely. 
            and the breeze
as she blows through. -- Sad and beautiful. 
 
Should I see her
before she goes,
I could not say goodbye; risk -- I think it would read better if there wasn't a firm break after goodbye ("I could not say goodbye or risk"), because then "risk" is unsupported and about to fall off the edge. If you want to accentuate "risk," maybe break the next line on "cheek" so that it has a partner in the shared "k" sound. 
the feel of her smooth cheek against stubble, "stubble" is a solid way to further define the relationship to "her." Excellent showing vs. telling. 
hear her soft words in my ear, -- Maybe naming the words here would be stronger. I think that "smooth" and "soft" are a little bit too close to each other and create a sense of redundancy. 
arms tightening around. -- tightening around what? 
Should I hold her -- nice call-back to the beginning of the stanza
I would have to let her go. -- A fitting gut punch for the ending. 

So, keeping it very real (and understanding that punctuation is somewhat of an artistic expression in poetry): I'm struggling with the constant semi-colons. It seems to be an attempt to break up the reading without creating harsh pauses. The traditional use of the semi-colon is to link together two complete sentences that have more of a relationship to each other than to the rest of the paragraph. Here, there seems to be an interchangeability of commas, semi-colons, and full stops that's making my editorial side twitch and seize. It didn't keep me from enjoying the poem, but it was definitely a distraction. 

All in all: superb content that can be either muddled or highlighted by your stylistic choices. 

Enjoyed the read. Good luck with the piece. 

Lizzie

Hi Lizzie,
First, thank you for such a detailed critique.  I appreciate your time and effort.  You make many good suggestions and I will adjust accordingly.  Ah, the semi-colon.  Is it a lazy period or an ambitious comma?  I loosely based the formatting (and use of semi-colons) on a poem BY MAX SCHLEICHER called "Dream of Low Houses" that I like.  I'm pretty new at this poetry stuff so I was doing a bit of imitating.  Maybe doesn't work as well for me!

Thanks again.  Glad you are back and I look forward to returning the favor as best I can.
Take care,
bryn