Broke-Heart Biograph

[brynmawr1]

Johnny met his mark on a disordered bed 
celebrating he texted and then he was dead.                he texted, celebrating?
Fentanyl paid a visit the coroner said.

Johnny was born in bright sterility
answer to his parents’ touch and go fertility,            solving?  I like the pairing of sterility and fertility.
a rebellious babe who strutted in the high chair,
a midget Mussolini with downy blonde hair.

Listened to Hendrix and Nirvana at nine, 
and was never without a peace sign
hanging around his neck along with a guitar,           might be interesting to let the two images of things hanging to run into each other.
sailing away from us to find his own star.   sailed?

Cancer at sixteen and love without tears
for the mystery of the veiled female,                 lost me on this line with "veiled"
to Oregon for college, wrote stories and verse,
OCD at twenty and the world turned perverse.

To Spain for three years, in Prado del Rey to teach,
tangled with young thieves, who could not believe
an American boy was not a suitable toy,
collected colored glass off a Mediterranean beaches.

Came back because he missed his amigos,
did legal aid for imprisoned migrantes,
welded art out of iron, created stop motion films
built gardens, raised butterflies and bees.

Our days pass on, harsh and serene,
in a predicament in practice obscene,                  this line is also awkward for me though I think I get it.
somewhere Johnny wanders on a cosmic shore
but our memories keep banging at his door.    little bit of mixed metaphor here between waking shore then a door

All we ask of whoever’s in charge of time and space  the keeper?
is a moment’s hesitation in which we can break         pause?
through the illusion of death for one final take.    I like "illusion" but it caused me pause because I think it is the opposite of what you are trying to undo, break through that unyielding opaque wall.

Hey,
Nicely done poem. Good enjambment.  I thought you did well with your rhymes throughout. The break from it didn't bother me much although if you could find a way to get L1 and L2 to rhyme in S6 it would help the flow a bit.  I also liked the progression through the poem to the end with a good finish.  I have made some small inline suggestions as best I could with my limited knowledge of deeper poetry analysis.  Thank you for sharing.
Take care,
steve