08-26-2022, 10:37 AM
(08-26-2022, 09:33 AM)dukealien Wrote: RemnantIf I split the poem in half I feel like the image in the latter half more than deserves a little polish in the first half. L3 is a little wordy by my read.
I thought my pet spider had died
but there she is knitting I always feel "here" is more immediate than "there" - when possible
in the corner on her web– "her web in the corner" would read more fluid to my ear
---------------------
it was only
her discarded
exoskeleton, molted away
like a lost swimsuit found
on the beach at low tide.

