Sea Life (edit 2)

[brynmawr1]

I liked the parallel between being nourished by the waves and being nourished by fish.
The mental / experiential and the purely physical blending into one.
The revised version is more economical, and has a sustained image throughout.

It might be better if it were a single osprey, perhaps. I pictured several dive bombing in unison, and it was rather comical. 
The only line I didn't quite like was 'reborn....gleam'. A bit over the top in calling fish that. Too flowery, as it were.

The rest, lovely.

Hi Busker,
Thanks for commenting.  There were multiple osprey, although not diving in synchrony.  That would be something.  Multiple people have stumbled over my "gleam" imagery.  That's one of my favorite parts, but I can't ignore such knowing opinions!
Take care,
bryn

By Bryn - I see your point.
The silver gleaming fish is a good image in itself. I think the issue is in the “meal”. If, instead, it’d been “fish gleaming like silver” or “fish like silver”, or something along those lines, it would work better.
The substantive nature of the image you’re trying to draw works better when you state what the object is, rather than leave it to the reader to infer what it was 
Anyway, that was just my 2c

---

Just saw your edit. I think the “gleaming” reads a lot better. Nice wo

Hi Busker- I see your point.  Thanks for the tip on making the imagery more effective.