I don't see her(mod edit)

[CRNDLSM]

I don’t see her
but she is here everywhere;
            in the morning
                        cupboard doors agape;
            in the sink a sodden, half-eaten creation of a nocturnal alchemist
with an appetite;
            in the history tests and text 
books oozing from her bloated pack
            that festers in the entry;
discarded clothes
flaked like itchy reptilian skin                                  ii like the broken paragraphs with indentations for the most part but it can be distracting here, the contrast at the end with regular line breaks makes me think your thoughts are scattered and broken through here.  
            leading away;
in forgotten elementary lessons etched deep
into the ebony of the dining room table.
The blue Subaru’s gas gauge at empty,
                        its rims excoriated against curbs,
lessons learned;
in the detritus of a deciduous forest
                        shed from limbs on her bedroom floor;
in the quiet of the climbing moon searched by anxious ears anxious is how I feel, I'd almost prefer more symmetry between the beginning and end, like the middle is where your mind starts to lose it.  
for the late crunch of tires or creak
            of a darkened stair;
in her mother’s eyes
            and the breeze
as she blows through.
 
Should I see her
before she goes,
I could not say goodbye; risk
the feel of her smooth cheek against stubble,
hear her soft words in my ear,
arms tightening around.
Should I hold her
I would have to let her go. I was so distracted throughout, this last part seems to hold enough emotion to stand alone.  I'd want the entire first section to hold more weight, like it's too loose

I hope this helps, thanks for sharing