Still Life (edit)

[TranquillityBase]

Time is 
 
a river that no dam can impede;
an ocean without shore or horizon;  really like this observation
the test against which we measure our worth,    I have a bit of a problem with "worth"; I think a more concrete word would be better; our "passage" for example.
or, simply, the between of now and not.  great closing line
 
our friend.               Our friend:  ?
 
The measure of our life’s tread;
telling us when our parenting begins,
when our eggs are done;    not fond of this transition from something tremendous like parenting to something trivial like cooking eggs (I assume that's the meaning, although it could of course have the double meaning of eggs hatching)
is said, to have no say on those who love.      for ?
It is the panacea.
 
the enemy.               Our enemy:   ?
 
That holds the future hostage,
denying the past.
Punishes those who grieve,
reminds us how long our love is gone,    maybe cut "our" ?  should it be "has been" not is
plucks the flower before its due.  excellent stanza
 
This house we live in becomes our ruin.
Caught in the riptide,
pulled from shore to horizon,
all clocks will stop.
Is there no remedy?  my favorite stanza
 
We catch a glimpse of time’s heel
measured in the swing of the pendulum.
The lick quick repose at each stroke,        "lick quick" gives me pause, I kind of like it, but maybe "brief" would do better
before it wakes to begin again.
 
Kelvin knew the clue.                  something of a change of horses here, though I like these last stanzas
Temperature is the measure,
ironically, of molecular shiver
that ceases at the absolute of zero.
 
Without motion, 
there is only now and no not.
As at the pendulum’s repose,       since you've used repose already, maybe another word, like "pause".....
or me, napping on the couch.     I find this last line weak, although something about timeless sleep would be appropiate

Hi Bryn,

A complex and beautiful poem.  My likes/dislikes and suggested edits above.

TqB