Weight as Fate - edit, title change

[Tiger the Lion]

Weight as Destiny


Gravity fails not
nor varies yet wind blows
and breath and birds defy it
while they live
each cast-off feather falling
to its waiting rest
unforeseeable, unique.

Hey Duke. While the line breaks serve as implied commas, I feel like the first 2 lines are one pause short. A comma after "varies" was my first instinct, but there are a few approaches that would work if you're inclined...

Gravity fails not, nor varies
yet wind blows...

or 

Gravity fails not
nor varies, yet wind blows...
------

Also, the close repetition of "and" in L3 is slightly problematic. Feels like L3 should begin with "while" except that "while" is used in L4. Suggestion would be...

while breath and birds defy it
as they live

Admittedly, your grammar is much better than mine, but a little tinkering might make for a smoother read. The content stands as is. 

Paul