anne boleyn did on tower green what I did for you in your room

[SnarlingThroughOurSmiles]

I don't know the context. I know Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansome the way Cher from Clueless knows Hamlet through Mel Gibson.

Context-deficited, here:

It was the way you combed my hair, after,

the position of after is either thinking afterward or a disconnection of the moment or otherwise

ends-up instead of yanked-down,

a lot of thought puts hyphens into immediate things


fingers trailing soft across my nape

how tender


- like they did across my face -
softer than how you kissed,
softer than how your scent pressed into my skin,

hard seems prescient 

but not softer than the way you looked at me.

Ho! ho!

Because you don’t now this but it has felt

Sorry. I'm being playful. But a typo?


so long
since my heart has known something
beside the taste of concrete

besides would be more prescient here, am I using that term correctly?

since I have cradled myself with something
other than a boxcutter.

I find this offensive. I'm kidding. You have to consider, however, the way you use images.



But you looked at me like I was the last true mouthpiece,

But?! After all this, But?


and for once I didn’t hate looking into someone’s eyes.
But you smiled at me,
and for once I felt like I didn’t have to earn one.


Have to earn one. That was a well way to end that segment of the poem. It sounds personal and outside of what is known. A direct statement to someONE. Which I'm only saying about. 


So I sat there,
with your comb running through my hair and your hands running down my back, exposed.

Sounds a cry for intersexualizationally understanding.


And every stroke felt like a promise you didn’t mind making,
like a secret I didn’t mind sharing.

Stroke isn't used to its full potential. Secret, neither. 
And this is how poetry critiques work.


All this to say:  It has been a long time since anyone combed my hair.

You ended strongly.

Writing a lot of building up to a strong ending is what this poem lacks. 
And, of course, I'm carelessly missing the context.

Thanks for your review! I just have a few questions.

1. What were you trying to say by referencing Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson?

2. "Prescient" means "knowing something before it happens," so I don't think that was the word you were trying to use both times you used it. Did you mean "precise"?

3. Did you say "Ho! ho!" as in like "aha!" or were you calling me a ho?

4. I used the word boxcutter on purpose, the way it sounds like it would have been meant, for personal reasons.

5. I'm not sure what you mean by, "After all this, But?"

6. Also not sure what you mean by "intersexualizationally understanding"

I'm happy for the critique and I've gone back to correct my typo but ultimately I'm not sure if this IS how poetry critiques work if the context was, by your own admission, "carelessly" missed.