07-03-2022, 01:41 AM
I don't know what depression is. I've never been manic or depressed. I am impatient. I've been diagnosed with things over the years, much of it based on jokes I made during sessions. Family wanted me to go to doctors. Everyone I know thinks I'm severely mentally ill. My only real problems are neurological, coordination, don't drive, can't swim, and I'm working on these things.
When I listen to jazz, I feel better. I don't think about jazz. I listened to jazz and read every book on it and watched documentaries and interviews and bought a trumpet with jammed keys, since I liked Miles Davis so much, and learned to play a few opening notes from his albums. The cheapness of the trumpet made it hard to play, besides me not knowing what I was doing. I refuse all help. I must educate myself or feel less than.
What I do understand about depression and other mental-emotional troubles is the gap in action. There's a gap in the reality of what you experience, experience, thought, emotion and physicality aren't on the same page.
Art comes out of those gaps. The need for art is generated in those gaps. Otherwise, life is enough.
People say I'm mentally ill, since I talk of demons and in language like that. Where do these God-worshipping Christians think I picked up that language.
My favorite line in The Exorcist is: [She's] In here, with us. Democracy DEMOnic. And I say that demons are in the spaces between spaces. Demons are ever between. They neither exist or nonexist. Like the spider on the one dollar bill.
And the human body is composed of organisms. Cells, bacteria. Imaginations, synapses, energy, the energy between synapses lighting up cells. Spooks in and out. Shadows and apparitions.
Culture is only useful for art. Culture is art. Cultural issues are mountains made of molehills. We're animals with delusions of traumatic grandeur.
The existence of spirits and gods doesn't change that.
Come down to The Sewer, and we can talk more crazy cosmic jive.
I started subjects and let them float. I like talking in The Sewer.
This is an invitation vampiric.
When I listen to jazz, I feel better. I don't think about jazz. I listened to jazz and read every book on it and watched documentaries and interviews and bought a trumpet with jammed keys, since I liked Miles Davis so much, and learned to play a few opening notes from his albums. The cheapness of the trumpet made it hard to play, besides me not knowing what I was doing. I refuse all help. I must educate myself or feel less than.
What I do understand about depression and other mental-emotional troubles is the gap in action. There's a gap in the reality of what you experience, experience, thought, emotion and physicality aren't on the same page.
Art comes out of those gaps. The need for art is generated in those gaps. Otherwise, life is enough.
People say I'm mentally ill, since I talk of demons and in language like that. Where do these God-worshipping Christians think I picked up that language.
My favorite line in The Exorcist is: [She's] In here, with us. Democracy DEMOnic. And I say that demons are in the spaces between spaces. Demons are ever between. They neither exist or nonexist. Like the spider on the one dollar bill.
And the human body is composed of organisms. Cells, bacteria. Imaginations, synapses, energy, the energy between synapses lighting up cells. Spooks in and out. Shadows and apparitions.
Culture is only useful for art. Culture is art. Cultural issues are mountains made of molehills. We're animals with delusions of traumatic grandeur.
The existence of spirits and gods doesn't change that.
Come down to The Sewer, and we can talk more crazy cosmic jive.
I started subjects and let them float. I like talking in The Sewer.
This is an invitation vampiric.