06-17-2022, 11:40 PM
(06-16-2022, 11:21 PM)brynmawr1 Wrote:Sunday Morning
Land and sea,
two bodies back to chest, This reads awkwardly for me, and I had to stop to puzzle it out a bit. I don't think it's even needed.
a tender embrace.
Amber light’s lazy caress on tranquil tides,time stretches to contentment. great lines
An arm washes over, I can see a wave upon the beach as an "arm", but it doesn't quite work for me. My first thought was you were referring to a body part washing up! So, maybe something else (you haven't already used "wave", so why not just "a wave washes over".....
finding its sandy shore;
reaching, holding, repeating.
The world slips away, Confused as to which is the world, the wave, the sand, or both intermixed and pulled into the deep?
our universe contained in a moment. Wonderful line
Separate but never separated.
Land and sea. great finish.