06-15-2022, 06:49 AM
Hey Duke- Good one. Some in-line comments below:
Life in the Soft Lane
Anyone can see from my soft hands
how rich and useless I’ve become of late: don't think you need "rich and"
palms without callouses, nails pink and smooth;
loose knuckles never barked in shop or fight. cool image - "knuckles never barked"
I’ve even lost my writer’s thickening
along those fingers pencils used to press; A bit confused by this line, the way it's written.
this week I took a chunk out gardening–
it bled like fun: a farmer would have laughed. HA! I love this phrase.
But then a farmer wouldn’t understand
(at least, no farmer only decades past)
how merely getting old could bring in cash interesting view point
or typing, dreaming, all but mind at rest.
My useless life extends, I own enough not sure "useless" is the right word
to buy my needs from men with hands still rough.
Not a lot of tweeking needed on this one. It's rather straight-foward, and could use more of some of the parts that I bolded.
Life in the Soft Lane
Anyone can see from my soft hands
how rich and useless I’ve become of late: don't think you need "rich and"
palms without callouses, nails pink and smooth;
loose knuckles never barked in shop or fight. cool image - "knuckles never barked"
I’ve even lost my writer’s thickening
along those fingers pencils used to press; A bit confused by this line, the way it's written.
this week I took a chunk out gardening–
it bled like fun: a farmer would have laughed. HA! I love this phrase.
But then a farmer wouldn’t understand
(at least, no farmer only decades past)
how merely getting old could bring in cash interesting view point
or typing, dreaming, all but mind at rest.
My useless life extends, I own enough not sure "useless" is the right word
to buy my needs from men with hands still rough.
Not a lot of tweeking needed on this one. It's rather straight-foward, and could use more of some of the parts that I bolded.