06-11-2022, 09:42 PM
(06-11-2022, 11:46 AM)hebrewhammer2 Wrote: im out of my element
is it cuz im elevated ?
or is it the elephant
all up in the room - with my silver spoon
as i sit on the moon
instead of the dirt getting swept by the broom
instead of my heart and my mind living in doom
in the middle my brain was expanded - was it the shrooms?
was it being the groom or the new dad in the room
or the only cracker sitting all up in the tomb
the only jew in a sea of christianity being consumed
they drink all they can handle i just wanna gamble
i live for the loss im sick of the boss im sly as a fox
i live for the box the one with no label
a sucker for surprises in high rises
searchin for bibles that have no titles
questions without answers
partners without dancers
stars without cancers
fortunes without tellers
houses without cellars
selling rain to umbrellas
im a buyer -long as theres no Sellers
I think it'd be improved if you kept up the longer thoughts, images, for the section I've highlighted, instead of reducing them to short phrases.
But I ejoyed the thick rhyme scheme and the randomness of your thoughts.
Is Sellers capitalized because it's a name?

