06-08-2022, 02:54 PM
(06-08-2022, 11:20 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote: The Old KnowI think you could lose some of the 'they know's - suggestions above
The old know how to fold a map,
to use a rotary phone and
untangle the cord.
They know the serenity in writing a letter,
the joy of receiving the reply,
the anticipation in between. ... I like how between the second and third lines of this strophe there is a degree of anticipation here itself
The old know that walking,
face in a phone is dangerous
so, they don’t.
They know and(?) how days are short
when long in years.
The old know the gift of loving for a lifetime,
and the loneliness of one left behind.
The old know the only thing worse
than death,
is not living.
The last strophe (in green) is cliched. The poem deserves a better ending.
Overall, a nice read

