Evoking the end

[brynmawr1]

Sand castle
smoothed over
by sea foam,
swept into a rib cage.        period here
and A misty white sun
like an eye     "the only witness."?
....

  

Beach castles built-
smoothed over 
into glass,
sea foam swept
into ribcages,
and the misty white sun
stretched out like an eye,
draining all color
from the world.

  

On the knotted beach 
castles built-
smoothed over 
into glass,
thin water
swept sea foam
into ribcages,
and the misty white sun
stretched out like an eye,
draining all color
from the world.

Hi SC,
I like the edits so far.  I made some suggestions above.
Thanks,
bryn