Assateague Island

[brynmawr1]

... is the rose not opening, but morning? Yes, Tim, I was going for the glory of the morning, not the syncing of the time.

---

morning opens like a rose     has a better rhythm, i think.

  Hi Steve, throughout this piece I maintain a 5-7-5 syllable count for each stanza.  Why?  Because it's a challenge.

...wild ponies across the marsh     comma?

HA! I had a comma, then no comma, then comma, then no comma.  While it is grammatically correct to insert the comma, I ultimately felt that the line break after 'marsh' offered a sufficient pause.
 

  Sun beams through trees    could be noun or verb, what ever works for you.

I chose 'beaming' for its double meaning: 1) shafts of light 2) a big smile

...  asking to slow dance.       "Your subtle body language, asks for a moonlight dance."  More dramatic, "demands" or "requires", etc.

I decided that 'subtle' implied a polite way 'asking'.  I'm not overly enthused about 'asking', but I wanted to stick with the syllable count, and I didn't want to go for something more dramatic. 

While I stuck with the 5-7-5 structure, I did not want that to be too noticeable.

I appreciate your comments Steve.  Thanks

Hi Mark,
I obviously didn't pick up on the 5-7-5 structure.  Not savvy enough yet!  Thanks for going through my comments to explain things.  Helps me learn.
best
streve