Revenge - edit2

[brynmawr1]

Revenge


Have you ever noticed that
you cannot stop a pendulum?               make this a statement
Oh, you can let it run into
your hand or even catch and hold            These three lines could also be cut but at least shortened.  
it, pinch it with your fingertips

yet you must finally let go
and it will swing back in again
a tiny bit past center ‘til,                           from reading your explanations it sounds like you are getting at the failings of humanity and how a pendulum will 
all energy potential spent                          take advantage of any finger twitch to get energy to move again, no?
on air or bearings, it will halt–

not stopped by you: a pendulum                   This could also be cut, I think.
will always have the final say.

I also like the concept under lying this poem.  I, again, agree that in parts it gets a little "explainy".  One exercise taught me by Mr. Baker that helps find the core of the poem is try to reduce it to as few lines as possible that still retain the heart of the poem and see what you are left with.  I tend to want to be too explicit and that has helped, maybe!
I've made some suggestions above. thanks.
bryn