Gravity edit1

[brynmawr1]

made some changes. let me know.

Thanks mind hive.

bryn

---

Only to add to your dilemma here's another opinion that may or may not have anything to do with what you were thinking

Gravity

Gravity weighs on her.  The gravity of the situation, 
 “Only a theory,” She thinks. I like the sound of this line, the rhythm and alliteration.  Together the two lines are almost too short.  Maybe start with this line, if you need the first line maybe put it last.
 
Struggling to get above ground,
it pulls her down. Cause to weigh on her would push her down maybe?  Is it gravity keeping her buried? She not underwater, it's not a sheer cliff.
 
To the center of herself,
the places she doesn’t want to know. Is this a fragment sentence? The center is multiple places? The center is under ground that she's trying to leave because she doesn't want to know?
 
“Ignorance is bliss,” she thinks. The repetition of she thinks is fine but I keep wanting to substitute something like 'she tells herself' for variety, for a change in air, but what exactly would fit I don't know, 
Gravity never let her go. The gravity of the situation is a buried trauma that always holds her but she refuses to scientifically (therapeutically) understand to use and conquer the universe or the center of herself.  I'm running with it, but it's almost a short form poem.  I keep coming back to it because I've had similar thoughts but don't know how to say, thanks for sharing



My wife doesn't like the cliche of "ignorance is bliss" but I think it works here.  What do you all think?

thanks for your comments.  I have tried to give a little more fill in but still feel I need to keep it pretty vague.  I was thinking of having the poem turn the corner from dark to light but haven't gotten there yet.
bryn