Pursuit edit Final(for now)

[brynmawr1]

Hi brynmawr1.

Bit late to the party, but I bring scissors.
I think this is rather overwritten (and I'm not sure how well it reads, aloud)
but I think there's a really nice piece that's struggling to find it's way out.

So, mindfull of you deadling, and taking a bit of a liberty ...


What is rowing but obsession?
A Sisyphean task,

pursuit of perfection.
through ache and blister.

Hour upon hour.

Each stroke a house of cards *
against which wind and wave conspire

Each catch a resurrection,
we push past ourselves,

hour upon hour.

A friend’s laughter across the water;
a blue heron caught in flight

in harmony, on misty mornings,
what better measure of us is there?

What better way to spend the hours?




*I like this couplet, but I think the house of cards image ill-suited to the context.  Is there something (like 'catch'), a term specific to rowing, that might replace it?



Good luck with the ceremony.


Best, Knot

.

Hi Knot,

You did bring scissors.  And they are sharp!  I see where you are going and like the cleanliness.  I am going to have to spend time going over it with your thoughts in mind.  Regarding the term stroke.  The stroke refers to the entire cycle, while the catch is only one part (there are four-catch, drive, finish, recovery).  Catch would be ok but doesn't quite fit technically.  I really like the suggestion of "what better..." though I might leave off the "is there".
As always, thanks for your time and efforts.
bryn