Mother

[Semicircle]

Thread and needle;
a patchwork,
spanning farther,
longer, wider–
time’s passage
filtered through it.   ? seems to me time's passage is "illuminated by" the quilt, not filtered, no?

Frail fingers delicately
loop and contort,
quietly mulling over every stitch.
Eyes rolling, like a coma patient dreaming vividly.  Unless this means something, to you the coma reference is too much.

Children and animals,
inhabiting the squares
smiling, cheering, 
romping through dandelions–
like they used to.

After years melted over   Don't think you need this line.  I think the time spent is well implied
She draped the finished quilt on her bed
and climbed in, spent and tired,
resting so deeply,
she didn't wake up.  she sleeps. ?


Not sure if you are still working this poem, but I really like it.  I have to disagree with TqB in that the time spent seems implicit to me.  The poem reads like the quilt is the story of her life that wraps around her in her final sleep.  I do wonder if you could make that more apparent, maybe by reworking the second to last stanza. hope this is useful.

appreciate it brynmar, I'll see what I can do!