05-11-2022, 11:27 PM
(05-11-2022, 10:10 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote: PursuitThis is a really nice one, Bryn. A few notes, but overall, very compelling.
What is rowing but obsession,
a sisyphean task bound to fail,
a compulsion, this pursuit of perfection.
Through ache and blister we struggle.
Each stroke a house of cards
against which wind and wave conspire
to keep us from our destination. great lines
Seduced by the promise of each new stroke,
still, we pursue,
to make the whole greater than its parts. is there another way to say this? it's something of a cliche.
An elusive symbiosis of mind, carbon, and sinew.
If lucky, many become one, resplendent,
laws of physics bound. this line confuses me a bit; seems like, though bound by laws of physics, you are also bending them, challenging them
We push past ourselves
in pursuit of motion transcendent.
This trial and tribulation;
to what end, this pursuit of perfection?
For the finish line, a medal,
the adoration of family and friends?
Maybe our destination is something else?
A friend’s laughter across the water;
a Blue Heron caught in flight on a misty morning
are a better measure of us. by far my favorite line in the poem (don't think blue heron needs to be in caps though)
This pursuit of perfection, it seems,
a fool’s errand from the start.
Plato’s dream, conceived in mind’s eye,
can only be realized in the heart.
The struggle is our salvation.
The journey our destination. I feel like these lines are unnecessary, and ending with the above stanza would be better.