04-20-2022, 10:31 AM
This one holds together very well. I don't claim to understand it, but I like poems that I might never fully understand. Anyway, the images all back one another up, like a good soccer team, and punch home a frightening ending. You've developed a good spare style.
TqB
Actually one niggle, I'd replace twain with in two in the last line. "twain" doesn't fit, sounds archaic in an otherwise modern poem.
TqB
Actually one niggle, I'd replace twain with in two in the last line. "twain" doesn't fit, sounds archaic in an otherwise modern poem.