03-31-2022, 12:19 AM
(03-30-2022, 11:59 PM)Semicircle Wrote: Our hands linked togetherI really like the first 6 lines. I don't think the repetition of line 7 is needed.
in a bitter cage.
I wish when I licked my finger,
you would let me turn the page.
I lament day to day
about the wars that we wage.
I wish you had let me turn the page.
Tonight,
I killed you
in a frenzied rage.
If only, when I bit off my finger,
would you turn the page.
I feel like stanza two needs a little work. I'm confused by the "if only" in the next to last line. Did you mean "Only when I bit off my finger/would you let me turn the page."?

