03-28-2022, 09:10 AM
(03-28-2022, 01:01 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote: Hey busker-I also noticed the bond villian,
Ah yes, those "precious moments" of blushing youth.
(more hackneyed words weren’t said) alludes to the lustful foolishness, when seen in retrospect.
One line made me stumble, though:
like a bond villainess in bed
Did you mean "Bond", as in the Bond flicks, or "bound", as in tied up? You either need a capital "B" or a "u" in that word.
Also, since this is from the past, the last line in S.2 is a sudden which in tense, and should probably read:
"that had forgotten how to sing."
I was wondering how the title fit since I at first figured this was happening outside. But you have a bedroom scene in there (and maybe it was a very sunny bedroom.) Yet when I substitute "In the Sun" for the last line "to blush" it worked itself out for me, as in "we all had our time in the sun."
... Mark
which is a strange path for this poem to walk down.

