03-02-2022, 01:16 AM
This is beautiful.
I did find two phrases hit me the wrong way, or in a way I didn't think fit the rest of the poem:
"bland reality"........I wanted some other word than bland....bland is, well, bland
"your mouth
round with affectation"........affectation? that seems a negative spin I would not expect. almost thought it must be a typo for affection
all the rest of the lines are super
I did find two phrases hit me the wrong way, or in a way I didn't think fit the rest of the poem:
"bland reality"........I wanted some other word than bland....bland is, well, bland
"your mouth
round with affectation"........affectation? that seems a negative spin I would not expect. almost thought it must be a typo for affection
all the rest of the lines are super