Late February - edit
#1
Late February


Spring’s unstealthy early
warm wild winds
wound Winter mortally

pale darkness seems to seep
through blinds and bleeds
out hoarded health
leaving us listless
vainly awaiting Easter which
too many will not reach


original version;

Spring comes unstealth’ly early
winter beheads itself with warm wild winds
cloud suffocates its cold

thirsty pale darkness seems to seep
through window blinds yet bleeds
us of our winter-hoarded heat
to slake these season-slaying gales
that leave us lurching listless
vainly awaiting Easter which
too many may not reach.



Just another weather poem, and I owe someones a crit... but interested in how this could be improved, so there.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
Late February - edit - by dukealien - 02-20-2022, 06:30 AM
RE: Late February - by busker - 02-20-2022, 10:22 AM
RE: Late February - by Mark A Becker - 02-21-2022, 01:18 AM
RE: Late February - edit - by dukealien - 02-23-2022, 12:59 AM
RE: Late February - edit - by Knot - 02-23-2022, 02:31 AM
RE: Late February - edit - by RiverNotch - 02-25-2022, 05:34 PM
RE: Late February - edit - by Magpie - 03-22-2022, 02:55 AM
RE: Late February - edit - by dukealien - 03-22-2022, 09:46 PM



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