02-18-2022, 04:40 AM
Quote:Yeah, I agree. Needed to work on something so I just slapped a bow on it and called it good.
I think the bow slapped back. Take your time, the poem ain't in no big hurry, and any crit I offer does not require a quick response.
More green comments, below:
Trails of ink,
blotches warping the paper.
I'm itching away at the lovebite lower case i; "away at" could be "from"- one scratches an itch
you gave.
.. lose this
Crimson under my nails.
Pink scribbles
etched on the envelope-
overlapping hearts-
eyes peering from behind them.
watching intently. I think " They'll be watching." worked better
I was tempted to re-write this one, but that's up to you.