Flat Iron

[TranquillityBase]

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Hi TqB,
I get a bit confused by the 'by' of L5
and wonder if it should be 'yet' or 'to' in L4
Should L3 be something like
to face the same
blindfolded firing squad        
?

Perhaps 'winnowing' for the (weedier) 'weeding out'?

Not getting the title, but it (N) rather sounds like someone who got up (perhaps against expectation) on the wrong side of the bed.


Best, Knot.

the firing squad and the malingering assassins were not supposed to be the same fate but two differring fates; I like "winnowing"; me and you and titles!...but I did think hard before applying this one

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The second and third lines remind me of the Ambrose Bierce story, and the Russian novelist in Siberia. And I think of coming back being attacked by a giant spider I once crushed as a child. Flattening a cloud to make a quiet pond.

Bierce's "hanging" story I'm guessing....and Dostoyevsky (sic).....yep, i see that now...nice poem at the end there

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Hey Tim, I love the sentiment!

It hits with more punch if I leave out some the lines in the middle

This is no way to run the Hereafter,
to send a guy back
to face a blindfolded firing squad  funny as hell !
or another lifetime’s delay  equally humorous
and the funny thing is
it’s not even the appointed time this actually is a funny thing
for the weeding out to begin.

Weeding out the hereafter! Love the humour in this piece! Even the title suggests that something, someone, needs straightening out. Made my day, brother.

"while we jabber non-stop" implies that you are a citizen who may also sit on the Great Council of the Hereafter. 
I didn't need that line, or the two before it. Those three lines muddied it, for me.  Without those lines it strongly implies that you are "the guy", and you're failing to plead your case, and are about to be sentenced to life, again. To me, it's much funnier that way.

thanks Mark.  first version had malingerers of a different kind and i just wanted that word in there for some reason but now I'm not so sure and combining yours and Knot's "same" addition would make a better poem perhaps, i'll give it a try.