01-27-2022, 11:10 PM
Hello CR-
This reads like song lyrics. A little work on the rhythm is needed, I think; I stumble in several places. Paying closer attention to where the accents fall will result in a very fun piece.
Mark
In-line suggestions:
A hawk stalked a fox as he walked in the woods
The fox found a box that was hiding some goods
The box had a lock and the hawk knocked on wood
Then I lost the plot 'cause it wasn't so good
hawks eat foxes and foxes eat hawks
And they don't work together , which socks ? need another word here
Animal fables teach some good thoughts
I gotta find ways to think outside the box
This reads like song lyrics. A little work on the rhythm is needed, I think; I stumble in several places. Paying closer attention to where the accents fall will result in a very fun piece.
Mark
In-line suggestions:
A hawk stalked a fox as he walked in the woods
The fox found a box that was hiding some goods
The box had a lock and the hawk knocked on wood
Then I lost the plot 'cause it wasn't so good
hawks eat foxes and foxes eat hawks
And they don't work together , which socks ? need another word here
Animal fables teach some good thoughts
I gotta find ways to think outside the box