Casualty

[dukealien]

Had you posted this in NaPM previously?
I think I saw it before
I’m in two minds as to whether it’s better to have the second line split into two, but otherwise fine economy of words.
Nice!

You're probably thinking of this one

Cut Dawn


Wounded sky seeps red
on slit silk cloud-kimono
sun-slain night expires.

They're certainly similar, but based on different sunrises   .  I mean, if someone can write fifty about the same moon and 47 about the same mountain...

I'd almost forgotten the earlier one, but aside from sharper clouds there was no pink in the sunrise for "Cut Dawn" - none at all.

(I've got this window in my new house, you see, a French window that faces exactly southeast.)

But enough excuses!  Thanks, I'll try to do better next bl**dy sunrise   .