01-14-2022, 01:16 AM
.
Hi TqB,
(a little cut, no paste, for the sake of discussion),
For surprisingly little cost
you can vastly increase
the voices curled
inside the empty chambers
of the revolver pointed at your head.
All you need is THE BUSINESS!
Adds extra tight bundles
of the single minded obstinate
to the darkening church-like sky
where peripheral humans
gather in the western breeze.
So easy anyone can do it. ...........................I'd be tempted to have this as the title.
Merely synchronize the sinking sun
with your diminishing heartbeat
and erase the red music
at the edges of the flesh
until there is no horizon.
Really like stanzas one and three, but I get lost in s2 (particularly the 'adds') - do you need it?
Best, Knot
.
Hi TqB,
(a little cut, no paste, for the sake of discussion),
For surprisingly little cost
you can vastly increase
the voices curled
inside the empty chambers
of the revolver pointed at your head.
All you need is THE BUSINESS!
Adds extra tight bundles
of the single minded obstinate
to the darkening church-like sky
where peripheral humans
gather in the western breeze.
So easy anyone can do it. ...........................I'd be tempted to have this as the title.
Merely synchronize the sinking sun
with your diminishing heartbeat
and erase the red music
at the edges of the flesh
until there is no horizon.
Really like stanzas one and three, but I get lost in s2 (particularly the 'adds') - do you need it?
Best, Knot
.