The Mess Before Christmas

[Tiger the Lion]

A Christmas Mess

Up there on the rooftop
there was a banging noise,
waking up the neighbors,
and all the girls and the boys.

So grandpa grabbed his baseball bat
and grandma grabbed her gun,
the reindeer, they just froze in place
so Santa had to run.

They chased him off the driveway
and out into the yard,
then grandma opened fired,
and Santa went down hard.

Grandpa said, "oh, grandma,
look at what you did!"
Grandma stood there shaking
and cried, "don't tell the kids."

Santa laid there moaning
crumpled on his pack,
and grandma said, "I never knew
that Santa Claus was black."

...
...

(that's all I got so far, but it'll tell how Santa got drunk and couldn't drive the sleigh. A line like "Santa's been drinking, Mrs Claus begins to sob, giving everything away, and doesn't even have a job."  So the chief elf had to take over, and he's disgruntled because Santa expects them to work for free.  He hangs out with grandpa, to get patched up, and grandma has to take over delivering presents, but the reindeer are now scared of her and won't cooperate and so on...)

Funny where things take you. First thing that popped into my head was that old Eddie Murphy skit on SNL. I hadn't seen it for years, so thanks for that, Mark. Maybe there's something here you could use??