10-21-2021, 10:24 AM
(10-21-2021, 09:27 AM)RiverNotch Wrote: I dream the same, but now I treatFirstly, new to critique so--
the ones where I am loved by one
who loves meĀ like how I love them
as nightmares. How am I to sleep
knowing that I might have to run
chased by a beast just out of frame
or chasing one who sublimates
the moment sunlight strikes my face?
take it with a grain of salt.
It looks like you were trying to keep all the sentences
at the same length, which is a nice change of pace
what with all the wonky space poetry usually presentedĀ
on this site.
Maybe it takes away from the poem a little, I don't know
I found that first bit a little long winded.

