Billy Milligan

[busker]

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Sunspots 
warping the corona radiata

Slowly flowing across, 
and connecting 
like droplets of water.

A troublesome set of eyes,
darting around;
another creature at the helm.

Many worlds--
unable to converge.

Feedback on this would be: it’s far too wordy for a short poem
Sunpots do not warp the corona
The analogy between sunspots and droplets of water is a strange one. If it is meant to be a contrast, it isn’t built upon
Eyes darting around - very different speeds than sunspots or droplets of water. These are just very dissimilar things and the analogy doesn’t hold 
The conclusion is vague