09-25-2021, 06:45 PM
(08-20-2021, 03:11 PM)Kerbonzo_beenz Wrote: Static till dawn.Too much melodrama
Strafing till dusk.
Stranger on the lawn; catch a whiff of his musk.
Unparalleled in inquiry.
Withstood by the passage of time.
Countenance is fiery.
Wiping away the grime.
Moments now.
Years later.
Lacking the words to describe how.
Sitting amidst the smoldering crater.
We have yet to discover-- well -- at least you do.
The time we spend together is a lie I conceal.
But I: not a martyr, can see this time has bled through.
I wait for you to figure out that what we share isn't real.
You will heal and leave me behind.
As for me, I'll watch you leave and curdle up inside.
All but reduced to an odd thought in your mind.
And to you, I must confide; although, you are just an odd thought in mine.
"Where am I headed if I am fated to remain?"
“Smouldering crater” being an example. The time / grime rhyme is bad.
I think some effort needs to be given into making this a poem that is worthwhile for the reader. At the moment it reads like a teenage girl’s diary entry.


