Under the dreaming eyes (Edit 1.0)

[ISawASpaceship]

Under the dreaming eyes (Edit 1.0)

Under the dreaming eyes 
of my love, I slept 
away the days and months, tomorrows
that went with a whisper. 
Her familiar scent
and hair flung in a fairy circle 
on my face - I like how this gives a feeling that love is momentary but no matter how momentary, it still leaves a lasting memory.
these and more, I miss today
on the purple hill, its sad sun’s rays 
dying into darkness. Wherever you are,
my love, I pray it is light. This line makes me want to cry and is kind of how I'm feeling at the moment, as one who is missing the one that they love. 



Original

Under the dreamy eyes 
of my love, I slept 
away the days and months, tomorrows
that went in a whisper.
Her familiar smell
and hair fringing a fairy circle 
on my face -
these and more, I miss today
on the purple hill, its sad sun’s rays 
dying into darkness. Wherever you are,
my love, I pray it is light.

I personally wouldn't change anything.