Running the Trot Line

[TranquillityBase]

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Hi TqB,

I like this version (whether it's prose or poetry, no idea) but it feels like there's quite a lot missing, or still to be written, whichever you prefer

Maybe include a detail about launching the boat, I imagine that has a particular/distinctive sound when dragged across the sands?

The 'telegraph' idea still isn't working. I think the comparison with any other fishing line might be better.

Given 'the sound of the hook ...' I don't think you need the editorial 'struggling against the cruel hook' (are they 'hooks' or 'barbs'?)

The last six lines (though better) are ... lacking. 'bless the moment' seems to come out of nowhere, and 'tomorrow ... the day will be mine' begs the question, what will this day be? I'm confused on the timing here, I think. ('chart my dreams' is a better ending (though I'd probably go with 'chart my own course', but maybe something that returns to the idea of the 'trot line' would be better? Are you the fish thrown back or escaping the hook?)

Thanks Knot.  Not willing to give up my telegraph line but I added the push off and a very few more details and edits.  And for now, still in love with my new ending  ><