Unreal Birthday

Unreal Birthday

busker Offline

StarGazer

Posts: 470
Threads: 203
Joined: Dec 2017

09-04-2021, 06:35 AM

What I meant about too many “you”s was perhaps:

They never mentioned you.
You are history to them and my bitterness

Should the second “you” follow right after the first, or can it be reworded to avoid that repetition?
Minor quibble

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Messages In This Thread

Unreal Birthday - by TranquillityBase - 08-31-2021, 08:44 PM

RE: In Absentia - by CRNDLSM - 09-01-2021, 10:00 AM

RE: In Absentia - by TranquillityBase - 09-01-2021, 11:51 AM

RE: Unreal Birthday - by TranquillityBase - 09-01-2021, 09:29 PM

RE: Unreal Birthday - by busker - 09-03-2021, 08:10 PM

RE: Unreal Birthday - by TranquillityBase - 09-04-2021, 01:39 AM

RE: Unreal Birthday - by busker - 09-04-2021, 06:35 AM

RE: Unreal Birthday - by Todd - 09-08-2021, 11:01 PM

RE: Unreal Birthday - by TranquillityBase - 09-09-2021, 09:43 AM

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