As Custom Is - edit

[Knot]

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Hi duke,
like the idea but the ending doesn't quite satisfy (though that may just be the phrasing) - I thought the 'gentleman' line was funnier and maybe might make a better finale?


Wanting to go First


Meeting another man ............... great opening (and intriguing when read as a run on from the title).
....


Alternatively


At the Mailboxes


exchanging 'go aheads'
as is the custom.
both of us really
wanting to go first.

After a slight delay ...

we get our mail
in one order or the other ................... seems a bit to blasé, given 'want to go first'. You know who went first! And the 'he was no gentleman' suggests it was him. Might be best to cut it.
say our 'thank yous'
and 'no probs'
swap 'have a good ones'


he calls be 'bro'
I call him 'sir'
we go our separate ways ........... too cliché? Not sure.
as is the custom
for we don't know
each other's names. ......................... think you could probably cut this, it's implied by s1.

After a slight delay

each self satisfied ...................... not sure about this, given 'want to go first'

although he knew full well
that I was not his brother
and I had my doubts
that he was a gentleman


Best, Knot


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