08-14-2021, 08:22 PM
(08-14-2021, 01:55 PM)micah3801 Wrote: there were words here,Next to last stanza:
before.
there were assumptions,
and plans,
things that happen just because they do.
its empty now,
this page, and every page after it.
all my plans, up in smoke. "up in smoke" is too much of a cliche for this poem, "all my plans evaporate" oe something like that?
something pulled my health
out from under me,
and i soon realized there was nothing else.
i do not trust anything.
i do not trust my own body,
and after that, what is there?
the rest of my life is empty,
and i have no pen.
reverse first two lines: i do not trust my own body/i do not trust "a blank page"? or next to last line "the rest of my life is "a blank page"?
and as Knot suggested, drop punctuation.
A strong poem and statement. Excellent read.
TqB

