Playmob - edit2
#3
(07-28-2021, 06:23 AM)busker Wrote:  I like this, but am not sure about 'far, sententious'
The toys could be made to mean indoctrinated people at a second level, but  (plastic injection) moulding or some form of shaping might be a better fit for such a purpose than the adjectives used.
or even if the CCP were sententious, 'far' is a weak adjective, and I'm even then not sure whether a distant factory moralising to its dolls (as opposed to transforming them into moulded puppets, say) has that much of an impact.

But I like the rest of the pome.

Or maybe 'sententious' is still fit for purpose, but 'far' is weak
"[F]ar" is, indeed, weak.  I need just one syllable there unless the line is changed around.  Waiting for inspiration (or further critiques).  I like "sententious" because
of its two-plus antagonistic meanings - careful observance of all rules and approved practices, or the same but to an obsessive degree driven by either true belief, or desire to get over on others by seeming more observant than they.
One of those words that just pops into your mind, then you look it up and darned if it doesn't fit.  Or seem to.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
Playmob - edit2 - by dukealien - 07-28-2021, 06:03 AM
RE: Playmob - by busker - 07-28-2021, 06:23 AM
RE: Playmob - by dukealien - 07-30-2021, 09:21 AM
RE: Playmob - by CRNDLSM - 07-30-2021, 09:35 AM
RE: Playmob - edit - by dukealien - 08-02-2021, 05:18 AM
RE: Playmob - edit - by micah3801 - 08-14-2021, 01:47 PM
RE: Playmob - edit2 - by dukealien - 08-15-2021, 04:10 AM



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