*please stand by*
#2
(07-29-2021, 04:57 PM)SnarlingThroughOurSmiles Wrote:  I can't speak anymore
I open my mouth and-
cotton gauze, spilling-
Jaws, unhinged, and-
syrup saliva spit-              syrupy?
I can't -
I wanted to -
You wanted me to explain and I -
I had the words, I promise, I promise,
but all I have for you now is:
(disembodied unearthly scream)
(sobbing from another room)
(buzzing fluorescent lightbulb buzzing fluorescent lightbulb buzzing fluorescent lightbulb)    buzzing, buzing, buzzing?
(plate dropped on the kitchen floor like a telenovela slow-mo shot, shattering) break this line after "floor"
(embodied unearthly scream)

I have a tongue like fists on plexiglass
Layers of layers of paper paste glue plastered in- My arterial tubes.
I have a voice like. Caulking.  Crammed in my-


I have a -
I have a -
I -
...

I have so much to say about how much I cannot.
Snarling,
First read suggestions.  One word change, a cut or two.  I really like this poem.  Mabye use - (hyphen) instead of the periods at ends of all lines until the end.

TqB
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Messages In This Thread
*please stand by* - by SnarlingThroughOurSmiles - 07-29-2021, 04:57 PM
RE: *please stand by* - by TranquillityBase - 07-29-2021, 07:15 PM
RE: *please stand by* - by Knot - 07-29-2021, 10:25 PM



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