The Plant of Joy

[Knot]

.
Hi Brian,
I think this gets a little lost under its own imagery and the demands of rhyme (or possibly it's just me)

The sun is hatched, its yoke half-bared, .......... like the pun, but 'half-bared'? (and do yokes corral?)
corralling minions from their roost,
That tarp of dark hung grand to spare
the flooded eye from light's dour truth. ........... where's the rest of this sentence? That tarp of dark ... what?
Decamp, and rouse a pliant stem- ...................Is 'decamp' an injunction, and if so, to whom (or should it be 'decamps' - the action of 'that tarp'?)

(leave a space, this reads like a separate verse)
I suckle on paralysis,
and tithing to the poppy's phlegm, ................ don't understand 'and'.
On teats of steel my soul subsists. ................. why 'steel' (apart from the alliteration) and not, say, 'iron'
I would not fling this solar cyst
into Inferno's deepest pit


The final line seems to come out of nowhere, nevertheless, a suggestion
on teats of steel my soul subsists
and I'd not fling this solar cyst
into Inferno's pit.


Best, Knot


.