07-17-2021, 05:58 AM
Way too many adjectives. Adjectives are a sign of poor writing (especially in prose) as they usually offer unnecessary information/description, and are used because the other words in the sentence are too weak. Try and see if you can get rid of most of them and replace them with stronger nouns. Do the same with adverbs, as well (and replace with stronger verbs (active voice)).
I like the sensory descriptions. Maybe add some poetic devices, like similes perhaps? Could help with the imagery and help reduce the adjective problem.
I like the sensory descriptions. Maybe add some poetic devices, like similes perhaps? Could help with the imagery and help reduce the adjective problem.