07-16-2021, 09:36 PM
Sorry if this isn't detailed enough. I like the rhythm and almost rambling nature and rhymes, fun read. The word 'tragic' was where I felt like you were losing some of the velocity, a few lines feel more forced towards the end. The line with 'abode' and the lines 'its all up to you' and 'to all but the few' if I had to pick some specific ones to rework.
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