07-01-2021, 11:34 PM
.
Hi FT,
I get a bit lost in the second verse.
Who is 'kissing the memories' goodbye?
Do you need the third line? (What is the 'holster' and the unnamed 'someone' adding?)
And, just because that middle line in v3 looks too long (not forgetting that the third line of
v1 looks too short
) how about
but i will go on slowly
dipping berries in a blue box of sugar -
they are perfection.
Not sure how one might both 'wait and work to savour',
would
everyone is working and waiting
do?
Best, Knot
.
Hi FT,
I get a bit lost in the second verse.
Who is 'kissing the memories' goodbye?
Do you need the third line? (What is the 'holster' and the unnamed 'someone' adding?)
And, just because that middle line in v3 looks too long (not forgetting that the third line of
v1 looks too short
) how aboutbut i will go on slowly
dipping berries in a blue box of sugar -
they are perfection.
Not sure how one might both 'wait and work to savour',
would
everyone is working and waiting
do?
Best, Knot
.